Tuesday, June 28, 2005

The New Orange

I hate orange. I like to eat oranges but I hate the colour orange when it comes to clothing, signage and... um... HAIR! Orange hair on other people is just fine.

Today I decided to dye my medium blonde lockes a lighter shade for the summer. I haven't dyed my hair in over 2 years. I hated the whole process so now I know why I haven't bothered.

Last year I shaved my head because it was so hot. And I do mean shaved it. There was less than a half an inch of hair on the scalp. I loved it. Cool, easy to wash. This year I'm trying to grow it long and sassy like the old days. Well, unfortunately, unlike the old days I'm not as blonde as I use to be. The joy of being a woman in her thirties.

Anyway, back to the dye job. I picked out the palest of alabaster and went to work. To cut a small story even shorter. I now have orange hair. Orange. Yes, orange. Jeff came home and kind of stared for a second and then said, "It looks nice."

"Liar! It's orange." If I wasn't so embarrased I'd take a pic and post it. Hopefully it'll look better tomorrow. I don't know what I'm going to do otherwise. Possibly shave it. I keep shedding anyway.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Busy Bee

I feel like we have so much to do before we go away. Things keep popping up. I've been working on interviews and articles for the Literary Fiction and Large & Lovely sites the last week. Still need to finish:

Author Q&A
Review of Fat Chance
Review of Good Girl's Guide to Murder
What is Literary Fiction article
Literary Awards article
Cookie article
Calendar article

And that's just off the top of my head. I also discovered tonight that I may have missed writing a review for a book I read in March. I found a file with notes in it but no finished review. Makes me angry that I can't remember things like I use to.

I don't know how people manage to live through their lives having seizures on a regular basis. It's been a year since I've had mine and I still feel like I'm missing something. Enough gloom.

I will get through it all before we go. On the bright side. A big job is done. We've planned our route and I've booked the hotels for the first few stops. I'll probably research and book some more tomorrow. Mrs. Efficient I am. I am.


Thursday, June 23, 2005

Talking About Myself

It's a strange thing to be involved in an interview. I've been doing them now for a few years and often become frustrated with responses or lack of. Or worse, having a really bad interview returned. I don't like to hurt peoples feelings (really I don't).

Last week I was asked for the first time to participate as an interviewee. I've been mulling over the questions, changing things here and there and have been downright insecure about the whole thing. I never thought I'd be on this end.

Sharing myself in a blog with the odd person who may or may not see my thoughts is different. I can write or not write about anything I want. In an interview the person on the other end carries most of the control.

I now have a new appreciation for the people I interview.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Alone No Longer

Jeff will be finished school for the summer. I don't know how to put into words the anxiety I feel about this. We have a big trip coming up too so it's not like we can get a break whenever we want.

Summer break is always an adjustment. First few days are ok. Then we just get in one another's way. By the end of the summer we've found a happy medium and can work around one another. School returns in September and I'm a sap and don't want him to go.

It's easy being alone but it's harder being alone when you haven't been a lone for a while. Even though I see him throughout the year I spend a great deal of my time alone. Most days I think nothing of it. There's always something to do. But some days it picks away at me. "I'm a lone. With myself. I'm bored. With myself."

Wishing he was there does no good and when he finally is, he's tired and doesn't want to be bothered. One eye and ear open for effect.

So I sit and wait for the summer that will start with anxiety and end with regret for yet another year. Repetition sucks.

Thursday, June 16, 2005


Two girls
Blonde curls
Building blocks
Frilly frocks

Pitched giggles
Jello wiggles
Birthday wishes
Custard dishes

Hide'n seek
Little peeks
Blonde curls
Two girls

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Literary Fiction

I don't know what I was thinking when I applied to be the editor of the Literary Fiction site at BellaOnline. I guess I was thinking: I read, I like books, I'm already an editor...

For some reason they said yes and now I'm the editor. I suddenly feel self conscious about expressing my feelings about books even though I've been doing it for a few years. I guess I hold literary fiction in a higher category when it comes to the writing community and I haven't reached it and probably never will. Bad negative self speak.

I love literary fiction. I love to read. I just have insecurity issues. What was I thinking?

Topic Links
* Literary Fiction

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Forgotten Child

In her room she plays
with her dolls. Little dresses
for little bodies. Little shoes
for little feet. She pretends
each doll is part of a family.
Her family. A family that plays
together, stays together.

In the livingroom her
mother sticks a needle
into her lover's arm and
not so patiently waits for
him to use the same needle
on her boney limb. She
leans back, licks her lips
and is lost in oblivion.

In her room she she plays.